The Things That Matter (Part 2)

I really did not intend for there to be a Part 1 & a Part 2 of this post, but when I get typing, sometimes my fingers go a little cahrazy!!! Sorry that this is a long post, as well!

What I really wanted to talk about was that I think that the people who make the laws and tell us what we have to do forget about what really matters: THE KIDS!!! I am a teacher. Every week, I spend at least a couple of hours planning my math & reading lessons. I then teach these lessons to children. That's what I walk in those doors prepared to do & expected to do. But things come up every day that I am not expecting. Thats because, as mentioned in the previous post, my students experience way too many stresses at the age of 11, 12 & 13. Actually, many of my students experienced a lot of stress in the womb.  So when I walk in those doors, I also become a counselor, a therapist, a behavior specialist, a mother, a nurse, a "friend", a confident, and most importantly, the one that gives them love!! Yea, a couple of them get on my nerves...some get on my very last nerve every day, but I love them! I cant even help myself!

Anyway, what I want to do is share with you what I know about the lives of my students.  And hopefully, you will see what really matters.....

(to protect the innocent, I will use numbers instead of names)

#1: has been in foster care for about 3-4 years with her three siblings. Her birthmother had her at age 16. Her birthmother drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes, and also did marijuana while pregnant. She has a mild mental disability. The family that she lives with now will hopefully be adopting her and her siblings. She has a fragile heart and just wants to be loved and have a stable home.

#2: one of the few students that I have that is being raised with both of their natural parents.  She has a mild mental disability.  She also has a younger brother with Down's Syndrome. She is a sweetheart.

#3: lives with his mom, who has been hospitalized twice this year for psychiatric reasons. When his mom is hospitalized, different family members come to spend the night with him and his brother who is in 8th grade. His brother has a mild mental disability.  His mother does not consistently give him his medicine, which helps him immensely.  He does see his father, but I guess hes not able to have him come live with him? He is a whiz at math.

#4: lives with his mother and siblings. Last school year, his father was in jail. He is out now but cant live at the house with his children because the mother receives government assistance (or something to that point), and hes on house arrest.   So all this child wants to do is be with his father, but he still cant. He told me that he wants to see a counselor because he knows he has anger issues, but his mom wont sign the papers.  His home was broke into twice in 2011.  And one time he was home.  He wants to become a better reader (he reads at a 3rd grade level) and play football.

#5: Parents got divorced over the summer. His 18 yr old sister just had a baby.  Earlier in the year, his mothers house got shot at in her new neighborhood so that caused him to have a lot of nightmares.  He is an amazing football player!!

#6: Last year his father was in prison. He is home now& I think they are together.  I think both of his parents are in a gang. I think his parents do drugs.  Last year, his grandmother kicked his mom and the three boys out of her house when she came home and found his mother with another man (not her son!) So we didnt know where he was for about a week, but eventually he came back (thank goodness!).  Last year, he told me that he had tried smoking.  When he came to Warren Township, he had already been held back twice, so Warren decided to bump him up a grade, so he never did 4th grade. He loves to draw, but didnt sign up for art club because he didnt have the $10. I told him we could work something out. Hes already taller than me and knows hes cute!!

#7: One of the funniest people I know. Lives with both of his parents and 5 siblings (his parents adopted triplets who are now 4 yrs old. They are saints!). His parents are very supportive and involved. Unfortunately, they are the minority.

#8: Last year, her mother was in prison & she lived with her aunt.   I do not think she has a relationship with her father. Even though her mother is out & she now lives with the aunt, it is actually a worse situation because she doesnt respect her mother as a parent. Her mother forgets to give her her medicine (which helps her immensely) & gets her to school late so she misses breakfast.  She loves school & she loves to learn. She gets frustrated when she doesnt understand a skill cuz she wants to learn so bad.  She is so fiesty & fussy, that I call her "fussy" (out of love, of course!)

#9: Lives with both parents (I think). I actually cant tell for sure. They come to meetings together, but Im not sure that they are "together, together", but at least they can work together for the sake of their child. He was on the traveling team for football!

#10: One of my newer students so I dont know a lot about him, but I know that he lives with his mother. I do not think that he has a relationship with his father.  They recently moved in with his aunt & her family to save money. I do know that his mother has other siblings that she has given up for adoption...eventually that will be something he will have to face. He is probably the most talented drawer I have ever seen!

#11: Lives with his grandparents who are WONDERFUL people. I dont think he sees his mother a whole lot.  They keep him involved in activities. His grandfather works two jobs. His grandmother even goes on Boy Scout overnighters..she sleeps in a tent! He loves to read...he would read all day if you would let him!

#12: Lives with both of his parents. His parents are hardworkers, but they have been unemployed for a while which causes stress upon him.  His mother recently got a job & you can tell that even he is happier.  He has a lot of anger & behavior difficulties.  He was sexually abused as a younger child. He loves to make me laugh.

#13: Lives with both parents.  Has a lot of anxiety. A great kid. He raises chickens.  He reads at a 3rd grade level; however, he will probably make a lot of money someday as a chicken farmer!

#14:   Lives with mother. I think his parents are divorced, but he doesnt see his dad. There are a total of 9 children. When I talked to his mom at the beginning of the year, she told me that she is having her older children (a couple are older than 18) raise her younger children.  SMH!!! Sometimes his mother is hospitalized due to severe asthma problems.  He is very low academically & has a lot of anger, emotional difficulties.  He also is a very talented artist.

#15: Lives with his mother. I dont think that he sees his father, but im not sure.  His mother had a baby earlier this year.  I actually dont know as much about him as I should. He is new to me this year.

#16: Lives with his grandmother.  He does not see his mother very much.  He has a lot of behavior difficulties.  He has a hard time with trusting adults, especially white adults.  He is athletic, but cant always stay on the team due to his anger.

#17: Had been in foster care for 8 years.  The home that he was previously in backed out right before adoption so the family that has his sister took him.  She now has 8 children, 6 of which are not her birth children (she also has custody of her sisters) He was adopted last November. His birthmother used drugs while she was pregnant & it shows.  He got kicked out of his previous school and came to us in the middle of December.  To say hes hyper is an understatement!! He has a good personality for having been through so much.

#18: Been in foster care for about 5-6 years with her three siblings.  The home that she was previously in backed out right before adoption. Last yr they moved to Indpls from a rural town in Northern Indiana.  The home that they are in now is not sure that they want to pursue adoption...a couple of the girls have some psychological difficulties.  She loves to make little doodads for people.

#19: Was adopted by his birthmothers sister & husband at birth. His mother used drugs while pregnant & its evident.  His parents are supportive, caring people who have tried very hard to help him.  Not a lot of behavior problems, but severe attention deficit and does not even attempt to do much at school on most days.  He likes sports and drawing.

#20: Lives with both parents & siblings.  He has a medical concern that causes his lungs to fill up with blood. He has missed 18 days of school this year due to this condition. He has been in Riley four times already this school year. He would have missed more school, but he was in the hospital over Thanksgiving, got out right before Christmas, & over New Years. He has to use an oxygen tank at night & he probably should use it at school, but he thinks that the other children will tease him (which if they did, they would have some serious problems with Ms. Brown).  He is the sweetest boy you'll ever meet!!

Those are my kids! Many of them I have had for two years, so I know them pretty well & love them a lot. For better or for worse, Im pretty attached to them! I may complain, but I love 'em, and for the most part, they love some Ms. Brown! They matter to me! I care about them! I want the best for them! It's not that I dont want them to do well on THE TEST. It's not even that they dont want to do well on THE TEST.  But in the big picture of it all, I feel what really matters to them is that they know that I love them and thats why I do what I do for them (some things they dont even know that I do)..whether that is teach them the 6th grade math standards, read books with them, get on them when they act up, listen to their concerns, pay for them to go to intercession, go see them at the hospital, get my heart broken, pray for them, "fight" for them to get what they are supposed to get, or give them big hugs........................ THOSE ARE THINGS THAT MATTER!!!